1. Aaron Moore
  2. Memorization
Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Scene III clop clop Arthur Old woman! Dennis Man! Arthur Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there? Dennis I'm thirty seven. Arthur What? Dennis I'm thirty seven — I'm not old! Arthur Well, I can't just call you "Man." Dennis Well, you could say "Dennis." Arthur Well, I didn't know you were called "Dennis." Dennis Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? Arthur I did say sorry about the "old woman," but from the behind you looked— Dennis What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior! Arthur Well, I am king... Dennis Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers — by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress— Woman Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh — how d'you do? Arthur How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that? Woman King of the who? Arthur The Britons. Woman Who are the Britons? Arthur Well, we all are. We're all Britons and I am your king. Woman I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. Dennis You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes— Woman Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. Dennis That's what it's all about if only people would— Arthur Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle? Woman No one live there. Arthur Then who is your Lord? Woman We don't have a Lord. Arthur What? Dennis I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. Arthur Yes. Dennis But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. Arthur Yes, I see. Dennis By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,— Arthur Be quiet! Dennis —but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major— Arthur Be quiet! I order you to be quiet! Woman Order, eh — who does he think he is? Arthur I am your king! Woman Well, I didn't vote for you. Arthur You don't vote for kings. Woman Well, 'ow did you become king then? Arthur The Lady of the Lake, angels sing her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. singing stops That is why I am your king! Dennis Listen — strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony. Arthur Be quiet! Dennis Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! Arthur Shut up! Dennis I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away! Arthur Shut up! Will you shut up! Dennis Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. Arthur Shut up! Dennis Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Arthur Bloody peasant! Dennis Oh, what a give away. Did you hear that, did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about — did you see him repressing me, you saw it didn't you? by Monty Python [Source]

Footnotes

  1. Dictatorship - "A dictatorship is an authoritarian form of government, characterized by a single leader or group of leaders with either no party or a weak party, little mass mobilization, and limited political pluralism ... [they] generally employ political propaganda to decrease the influence of proponents of alternative governing systems."
  2. Autocracy - Government by a single person having unlimited power; despotism.
  3. Working Class - "In Marxist theory and socialist literature, the term working class ... includes all workers who expend both physical and mental labour ... to produce economic value for the owners of the means of production ..."
  4. Lord (Middle Ages) - "Lords of the Middle Ages were those who leased land or other property to an individual or many individuals. ... In the Middle Ages one had to be of nobility before he could even be considered a lord. Lords leased property to a vassal, who then paid them and was responsible to them. Lords and vassals existed under the feudal system."
  5. Anarcho-syndicalism - "is a theory of anarchism that views revolutionary industrial unionism or syndicalism as a method for workers in capitalist society to gain control of an economy and with that control influence in broader society ... The basic principles of anarcho-syndicalism are solidarity, direct action (action undertaken without the intervention of third parties such as politicians, bureaucrats and arbitrators) and direct democracy, or workers' self-management. The end goal of syndicalism is to abolish the wage system, regarding it as wage slavery. Anarcho-syndicalist theory therefore generally focuses on the labour movement."
  6. Commune - "is an intentional community of people living together, sharing common interests, often having common values and beliefs, as well as shared property, possessions, resources, and, in some communes, work, income or assets."
  7. Lady of the Lake - "is an enchantress in the Matter of Britain, the body of medieval literature and legend associated with King Arthur. She plays a pivotal role in many stories, including giving Arthur his sword Excalibur, enchanting Merlin, and raising Lancelot after the death of his father. Different writers and copyists give the Arthurian character the name Nimue, Nymue, Nimueh, Viviane, Vivien, Vivienne, Niniane, Niviene, Nyneve or Nineve, among other variations."
  8. Samite - "was a luxurious and heavy silk fabric worn in the Middle Ages, of a twill-type weave, often including gold or silver thread."
  9. Excalibur - "is the legendary sword of King Arthur, sometimes also attributed with magical powers or associated with the rightful sovereignty of Britain. Excalibur and the Sword in the Stone (the proof of Arthur's lineage) are sometimes said to be the same weapon, but in most versions they are considered separate. Excalibur was associated with the Arthurian legend very early on."
  10. Bint - Chiefly British & Offensive A woman or girl.

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